Lessons from my jade egg #5

THE LESS YOU LISTEN, THE LOUDER I SHOUT.

This continued for years.  Exquisite sweet orgasms on my own with my Jade Egg. Knees frigidly locked when he was home.

Sometimes we'd hit a good patch, there'd be more kindness between us.  The knees opened and we reconnected.  I loved him.

More times he was angry.  He shouted.  I walked on egg shells.  I was very nervous, so full of fear that I was unable to see the fear.  It was a sustained low level of fear that blinded me day after day.  I made mistakes.  I got clumsy.  I was unsure and full of doubt.

The knees locked.  My period would come as soon as his plane touched down. DO NOT ENTER.  SHAME.  HE IS NOT COMING IN.

Still he did. I let him. 

Sonja Lockyer